"Well," I explained, "I was driving around in this here cul-de-sac for a few hours and I couldn't help noticing that your parking lights were on. I came to the conclusion that if I stood out here shining a flashlight in your car, one of two things would happen: I'd figure out how to shut them off, or the owner would run out here screaming and I could point it out for her."

"You know, that's really sweet," she replied, "but for all I know you're some crazy guy trying to steal my van."

"Um," I conveyed, "if you'll look behind me you'll notice I have quite the fancy white sports car. There's really nothing to admire about your hunk of crap." She agreed and apologized, and it wasn't long before we were exchanging passionate kisses on her lawn under the stars.

Unfortunately, the whole night was ruined when the police arrived and arrested me for stealing that white sports car I was driving.

© 1997 kyle t.

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