ANCHORS!

I walked outside and it was raining anchors. One hit me on the head, and I was dragged to a dreamworld where everything was made out of silver pudding. I went for a swim, and then the statue of Pierce Brosnan said, "Allright! Everybody out of the pool!"

I went back home but all the houses on my street had been rearranged. I could not find my home. I finally found my neighbor's house so I went up to the front door and rang the bell. Before the old lady could answer, a spider in the big purple pine tree behind me shot me with her web and swung me around in circles until I was so dizzy I was hallucinating that Walter Matthau was riding my bike through the sky.

Finally, the spider let me go and I landed in the parking lot of a closed down and boarded up strip mall, where black garbage bags sat on the curbs stuffed to their britches and consumers swarmed everywhere like flying cats around an omnipresent carpet pole.

A yellow Muppet stared at me with pearly black eyes.

"Arr hgf sn djjkl swqpl xffred bu napple bvmret," stated the Muppet.

I got sucked through a hose and into a tar pit.

If it hadn't been for Hume Cronyn and his boat, I don't know what I would have done.

© 1997 kyle t.