I Can Write!

I uncovered the most significant study I've read in years as an indirect result of Googling a guy whose seventh birthday party had me in attendance. (Uh, I was seven at the time, too. This wasn't, like, last year.)

Before I reveal this very important revelation that will change your life, a few words about the sport of Googling people. What people? Any people. People you know. People you used to know. People you want to know, ahem.

You might call it "stalking." But that's a bit, er, somber. I mean, it's pretty innocuous and, more importantly, fun. And it fills a certain void left gaping by any number of factors (take your pick of the following: 1. I have a lot of free time these days, 2. I grew up without friends who didn't beat me up or try to make me drink pee, 3. I just took a big dump).

I don't call it stalking, because the names just pop into my head at random. It's not like I'm pursuing them like... like some kinda freak. Usually, I haven't seen them in several years. Almost always, I haven't thought about them in several hours. Sometimes, they share a name with a time-travel romance novelist and become impossible to find. And only in some cases do I ever decide to bother them. And some of them are now my friends, through a carefully executed sequence of "coincidences" orchestrated by yours truly. Once, I even got a little action. So it isn't stalking.

If you've never done it, you're lying. And if you really must call it "stalking," I don't trust you in the first place.

Oh yeah. On an almost completely unrelated note that has very little to do with Googling or even the guy I Googled, here's the important new information.

Posted by kyle t. at December 4, 2004 07:21 PM

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